Friday, January 29, 2010

The Greatest Friends I've "Never" Met

          Four years ago this past week, I had an experience that was emotionally and physically painful...  a miscarriage.  My husband and I were newlyweds and certainly weren’t trying to get pregnant so early.  One moment we were unexpectedly having to wrap our minds around having a child; then, a few short weeks later, it was all over.  Even though the pregnancy wasn’t planned, our hearts were still broken over the loss.  Because of our belief that life does indeed begin at conception, we knew that we had lost a child... not just a “fetus.”  One day his/her heart was beating and blinking on an ultrasound screen.  Days later it wasn’t.  It was a really sad time.
  During the following weeks, I began searching online to learn more about miscarriage.  Because let’s face it, up until the point I had one, I really didn’t know anything about it.  In the thick of my "googling" session, I stumbled upon a website called Silent Grief.  Man, the name said it all... a grief that many women unfortunately experience, but not many speak of.  That day I signed up for the message board/forums and unknowingly ushered in a new chapter in my life.
  There were so many wonderful women on that site.  All of which had walked or were currently walking in my shoes.  It was a big, virtual family of sorts.  I loved that I could go there any time of the day to find encouragement and support.
  Over time, there were a handful of women to whom I grew very close.  We began calling each other on the phone. We would stay up to all hours of the night, doing group chats via instant messaging.  We celebrated birthdays and holidays across the miles.  As each day passed, the more our friendships blossomed.
  The beautiful part of this journey is that, years later, my friends and I have been blessed with seeing our grief come full circle.  What an incredible gift it has been to experience pregnancies together.  Even though we were states apart, countries even,  we still came up with creative ways to throw baby showers for each other.  And presently we are journeying side-by-virtual-side through motherhood.  It’s just so incredible...  These women are very dear friends; and yet, I’ve never met a single one of them face to face.
          What prompted this post, you may be wondering.  I just think about these friends and Silent Grief so much during this particular time of year.  One thing I know and love about our Heavenly Father... He truly does give beauty for ashes.  We started our journey together as women with empty arms and heavy hearts.  Now four years down the road, not only are we mothers, but friends for life.
          If you or someone you love has experienced pregnancy or child loss, please visit  I also recommend Clara Hinton's book, Silent Grief.


Jotrellia Murret said...

With Love. With lots and lots of love.

Leslie Rivas said...

The day to meet will come, and what a joyous day it will be! Love you!

That Mama said...

Amen, Carmen! I have often wanted to ask the Lord why he sent Ramen, and then Ravioli to me; but know that without them I wouldn't have met some of my very best friends.


teachinghonduras said...

I totally agree, Carmen! What a wonderful group of ladies. :) I feel so blessed to know each and every one.
We will meet someday!


Julie B. said...

I am so sorry for your loss and grief, Carmen. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. God Bless you and Alec.