In so many ways God has proven to me that when He gives these promises to His children, He means them. REALLY means them. If his wisdom and love provided a way to meet my greatest need ever- to be saved from His wrath and reconciled to Him-- then He can surely handle the details of a month with little to no income. Or a broken down car. Or a struggling marriage. Or a knee surgery...
Which brings me to the whole point of this post. In that particular amnesia post last year, I wrote about the fact that chances of surgery being in my future were high, which caused an emotional freak-out of sorts because there was no way we could pay for it at that time. Instead of going for the procedure, I...
went to physical therapy,
iced, braced, taped,
rested, rested more,
received a few rounds of cortisone injections,
dieted (which is pointless when you can't exercise),
was fitted for shoes and inserts,
and popped anti-inflammatories and narcotics like candy.
So fast forward to a few weeks ago, after going to bed in pain and then waking up again in pain, something in me snapped and I was D O N E. Couldn't handle the chronic pain any longer. I made an appointment for a second opinion on my knees with a highly recommended sports medicine practice, all the while knowing what their advised plan of treatment would be. I saw the orthopedic surgeon and he took more x-rays which showed that the alignment of my knees had worsened since my last set of x-rays from the first orthopaedist visit. Because I had already tried everything, he confirmed my suspicion that it was time to attempt correcting them via surgery.
Before I knew it, they were bringing in paperwork, crutches, a knee immobilizer and cryo-cuff, and a date was slapped on the calendar to attack knee #1. My mind was spinning, my cheeks were flushed, and my stomach was in knots... none because of what was around the bend physically, but because of those stupid dollar signs again. There was a $1500 co-pay to take care of to even get me in the door of the surgery center and we didn't have the funds to cover it.
And that's where God's changing grace swept in... Instead of spending the next hours and days crying, depressed, and worried, the Holy Spirit began flooding my mind with truth. Verse after verse came to mind, along with recent memories of his jaw-dropping provision. I began to speak those promises to myself, reminding my soul of what the Lord had been doing:
"Carmen, even though you are evil, and you know how to give good gifts to your children whom you love like crazy, how much more will your Heavenly Father take care of you? AGAIN?! There's not a time you can look back over your life and point to where He dropped the ball and failed to take care of you. He will be faithful again."The next day I decided to put into action a random idea that had been bouncing around in my head:
• put together an online-fundraising page,
• share it on social media, and
• ask 1500 people to give $1.00.
Sure, I had lots of thoughts about whether people would think I was a sad, crazy beggar. But I didn't care. At all. The only thing I could do was cast it out there and see if anything would bite. I had many moments of thinking I was silly and came close to deleting the whole thing. For whatever reason, I clicked the share button that first time and then sat back. Within 5 minutes, email notifications began lighting up my phone... and then one week to the day of when I made the fund-raising page live, this is what had transpired:
If you're reading this and you were one of the generous people whom God used to contribute to our goal-
whether it was $5 or $105-
whether it was $5 or $105-
Those two words just don't come close to the amount of gratefulness we feel for your help. Thank you, also, to all those who helped us by sharing the link on Facebook and Twitter.
Well, in three days this thing is supposed to happen. Prayers for a successful and healthy procedure are needed and appreciated! I'll be journaling the whole process here but will refrain from posting the updates via social media in order to not drive people crazy. Being medicated and stuck on the couch with a laptop should be quite interesting for a few weeks!
Consider yourself warned. :-)