The Golden Hour

“The first hour is the rudder of the day — The Golden Hour”

Henry Ward Beecher 

How do you begin your mornings? 

When I worked full-time as a teacher, my weekday mornings began very early.  Usually around 5:30 am.  I was never one to be able to roll out of bed, jump right into the shower, throw on clothes and make-up, and then head out the door in under 30 minutes.  For me, I've always needed for my mornings to be quiet and slowly paced.

Since having children, I've found myself allowing them to be my alarm clock every day.  Even though there's nothing inherently wrong with that, over the past few weeks I've decided to make an adjustment in my morning routine.  Instead of trying to catch every single minute of sleep that I can before the children wake up, I've discovered that it's much more beneficial for me to have a set time to get up every day.  By getting up intentionally at 6:30 am for the past two weeks, here's what I've realized:

* It allows me to wake up slowly, not abruptly.  Awaking to a child crying or yelling "ma-ma" over the monitor is not very peaceful.  And I have to admit, when I'm very tired, it certainly doesn't put an instant smile on my face.  I currently have a soft, pleasant alarm tone that sounds on my phone.  Yes, I give myself permission to press snooze a few times, too. 

* I get alone time, which may or may not happen later in the day.  If I wait until naps or another opportunity later in the day to have "me" time, more times than not, something else comes up and it doesn't happen.  Getting up before everyone else guarantees time for me to be alone.  Sometimes it does get cut a bit short if one of the children wakes earlier than expected.  But even 15 minutes alone can be golden to a worn out mother like myself.

* That alone time provides me the opportunity to fill my mind with truth.  I believe it's so important to fill our minds with positive things throughout every day.  But especially so in the mornings.  Some things I've chosen to do to clean and re-frame my thinking first thing are: pray, read God's Word, read other encouraging books/blogs, and listen to uplifting music.  I really like how Dan Miller put it in a recent blog post titled, "I've Got a Dirty Mind:"

"I’m very protective of how I start each morning.  I know I’m planting the seeds for what the day will hold..."

Knowing that my entire day is affected by how I began it sure does change my perspective on early mornings.  It has already made a huge difference and I look forward to continuing and protecting this new routine.

Just can't decide...

Here's a confession about myself:

I have a really hard time making decisions.

I'm an incredibly detailed person.  Some people would consider this a blessing.  Yes, I think it is a blessing on occasion.  But the problem for me is, I get weighed down with details.  To the point where I spend way too much time flip-flopping decisions, outcomes, scenarios back and forth in my mind. It drives my husband crazy at times, because I can't ever seem to make a decision and stick with it.  I'm always worried about making the WRONG decision.

My example story happened this morning with a $20 gift card at Target Supercenter.  Let me start off by saying that unlike many women I know, I do NOT like Target.  (For many, many reasons.  But that's another post on another day.  Maybe it'll be my letter "T.")  So, the fact that I had to spend the twenty bucks at Target began my shopping trip on a negative path.

For someone like myself who has trouble making decisions, spending the gift card was SO DIFFICULT.  There were so many things that we needed but I just couldn't reconcile my thoughts around what was needed the most.  Yes, in the end, I picked up a few things with the gift card.  But the frustration that accompanied all of my decision-making haunted me for the rest of the day.

Sounds crazy, right?  Well, I used to think it was just an ordinary thing.  Until I truly realized how much of my thinking was enslaved to decision making... how I was always afraid of what might happen if I made the wrong choice.  Then a year ago I found out the issue.

This is actually a common tendency of people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Now, I don't mean to the degree of constantly washing my hands or locking/unlocking doors or any other type of compulsive behavior.  My issues are all stuck inside the gears of my brain.  The "Obsessive" part of OCD.  And I fall into the category of "Doubters and Sinners."  A person in this category is always "afraid that if everything isn't perfect or done just right something terrible will happen or they will be punished."

So how do I deal with it?  First of all, I've found that sleep is a major player in my symptoms.  When I don't get enough, I have an incredibly difficult time making decisions or getting out of my thoughts (if that makes sense).  At the end of the day, if I realize I've had an anxiety-ridden day over decisions, ninety-nine percent of the time I can blame it on inadequate sleep.

Exercise also helps tremendously.  It pumps up those seratonin levels and other big-scientific-named things that the brain needs to feel good.

Prescription antidepressants, such as Prozac, do a great deal to help ease the symptoms.  I've been extremely inconsistent with these since I can rarely get past the side effects that many of them cause.

Lastly, the three therapies I mentioned above are essential, yet NOTHING can take the place of spending time with the Great Physician.  He is the Prince of Peace, at whose feet I can lay all of my burdens, worries, decisions, and cares.

 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7

Now that I know the root of my decision-making issues, it's much easier now for me to deal with them.  I'm thankful that my personal level of OCD is extremely mild compared to other stories I've heard or read about.  I'm also glad that I've been made aware of the issue and can now watch for early symptoms in my children, as well.

If you have thoughts, advice, recommendations, or just a comment about this topic, I'd love to read them!

See you tomorrow for letter "K."

"Sleep, It Does a Family Good" by Dr. Archibald D. Hart

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart
when I'm awake, you know?"
— Ernest Hemingway

Like Ernest Hemingway, I love sleep.  I NEED sleep.  Yet, I feel like I've been without sleep for over 3 years now, thanks to my two sweet children.  It really does make it hard to be all that I can/should be each day without adequate rest.  So, when I recently received an invitation to review Dr. Archibald D. Hart's new book, "Sleep, It Does a Family Good," I literally laughed out loud.  If there's anything I need more of these days, it's definitely sleep.  

I'm pretty certain that way too many of you can relate to my sleep deprivation woes.  It is actually a rapidly growing crises in our country.  According to several polls from the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), about 70 million Americans suffer from some sort of sleep disorder.  And even many more suffer from some form of periodic sleep deprivation.  Because of these blaring figures and the toll that sleep deprivation took in his own life, Dr. Archibald D. Hart wrote his newest book, "Sleep, It Does a Family Good."  He sincerely believes that "bad sleeping habits in either children or parents can have a devastating effect on the spiritual, emotional, and physical health of the whole family."  Ohhhh, I'm right there with you, Dr. Hart!

The book is divided into three sections:

1. Part 1: Understanding Your Family's Need for Sleep
2. Part 2: Determining Your Family's Sleep Problems
3. Part 3: Overcoming Your Family's Sleep Deprivation

Within each section, he teaches about the issues of sleep disorders and how to address them.  Also included are various aids, such as a guide for creating a sleep diary and "sleep aid package."  The book is very informational, and yet a bit wordy at times.  But for anyone who is looking to take a true look at sleep and its function, this is a wonderful resource.

So, now I'm off to put to practice what I've learned from "Sleep, It Does a Family Good."  Time to catch some zzzzz's (I hope...)

A copy of this book was provided to me at no cost by Tyndale House Publishers in order to facilitate my review. I was not required to provide a positive review, only an honest one. The viewpoints expressed in this review are my own.