Promises for Hurting Wives- Hope

Lamentations 3:21-24

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

In the midst of our pain and brokenness, it seems easiest to dwell on our failures. To wallow in our regret. To sink down into the pits of depression for fairytale dreams gone wrong. "But..." we don't have to stay there. "But..." there is a powerful antidote to our defeated thoughts. "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope..." What is the this that offers such hope?

Remember Your Destiny

Well, it's the last few days of January, which means that the majority of New Year's Resolutions that were made for 2013 have probably already been thrown out the window for most. I'm always fascinated to see the surge of do-better chatter that strikes up the first week of each new year. The fact that the same few items top most lists repetitively (ie, lose weight, exercise more, eat healthier, save money) can even be pretty humorous... because, let's face it- these things usually do not change. And I'm not chuckling at everyone else while I'm sitting back proudly admiring my accomplished list of try-agains. Nope. I laugh mostly at myself and the fact that I honestly can't recall a single year that I've actually seen any of my resolutions all the way to completion.

It's because of this repetitive pattern each new year that I've decided to end my perfect "crash and burn" record. I didn't make a list of things I wanted to change, try, lose, or do-over. This time my approach was much different. There were no specific goals set but there was a simple commitment made to three words:

A Jesus-girl without Jesus.

About a month ago, I was reading a beautifully written post from a fellow blogger in which she made this statement: I was a Jesus-girl without Jesus. That simple sentence--along with her whole salvation story--pretty much ran over and flattened me in a spiritual-steamroller-kind of way. The reason why her words are so pungent to my soul is because I, too, have been a Jesus-girl without Jesus.

Amnesia

This Monday has been rocked by some major amnesia. Not the familiar type of amnesia that affects the human memory. Nope. The kind I've been hit with today is of my soul: spiritual amnesia.  Temporarily forgetting what the Lord has done in my life and the way He has proven Himself time and time again over the past year. Anxiety and worry showed up bright and early today, ready to throw an ugly party in my thought life.

Recently, I've noticed that many of my severe bouts of spiritual memory loss seem to be triggered by financial hardships more than anything else. And that was the case again this morning. It all began with an early trip to a physical therapy appointment followed by another visit to the orthopaedics clinic. The past 4 weeks I've seen these guys often as I seek treatment for a chronic overuse injury in both of my knees. Even though I've been able to experience some mild relief from the pain that I've dealt with for 8 months, I was advised this morning that surgery would more than likely be recommended if I don't improve significantly in the next 4 weeks. As much as I long to have relief from this awful pain, these are the only things I could see dancing around before my eyes when I heard those words:

What a difference a year makes.

One year ago today, I took a long, uncomfortable ride in the back of an ambulance to Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  Earlier that morning, while carrying my then 7-month-old (who was quite the load to tote), my lower back completely gave out in a quick second.  As I tried to stand, I experienced the most horrendous pain I've ever felt in my entire life, to the point of vomiting and almost passing out.  I couldn't stand or walk, and both legs intensely tingled from my waist down.  I was so frightened.  That was a terrible, terrible day.

We later found out that the culprit of my "episode" on that morning was a nasty herniated disc.  Instead of rushing to the nearest orthopedic surgeon, we sought treatment via physiotherapy.  After 6-8 weeks of anti-inflammatory shots, oral steroids, and therapy, I was able to make a decent recovery.  The annoying symptoms from the herniated disc still bug me on a continual basis.  I'm sure somewhere down the road it may possibly have to be addressed by surgery.

For reasons only God knows, that Saturday morning seemed to usher in a season of trials for me and my family.  Conflict after conflict, which included anything from relational and financial struggles to a frightening battle with staph infections that would land my then 2-year-old in Vanderbilt Children's Hospital for 6 long days, seemed to be served upon our plate in extra-large doses.  What a foggy, confusing time that was.

As I reflect back on that day/season, I'm incredibly thankful that the life waters are relatively calm today.  I realize that another storm may develop quickly without warning, so I'm spending today with an intentional attitude of victory and gratitude.

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship.

The Glory of Man

Lately, I've noticed the Lord teaching me through smaller chunks or phrases out of His Word, instead of through the broader truths that I normally try and cling to.  He has been bringing to life bits and pieces that I would normally blaze right over.

On Sunday morning, during our church's worship gathering, this time was no different.  As we were digging through the difficult topic of gender roles in 1 Corinthians 11, the Holy Spirit threw six words at my heart from the following verse:

For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of god, 

but woman is the glory of man.  

1 Corinthians 11:7

Through the latter chunk of that verse, God chose to do some work on my heart's attitude towards my role as a wife... towards my role of being "the glory of man."  

I later consulted the incredible wisdom of dictionary.com for a clearer meaning of "glory" and here's what I received:

Glory... something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration; a distinguished ornament or an object of pride...

After reading that interpretation of "glory," I had to confront myself and ask... Am I striving daily to be an object of healthy pride for my husband?  Am I being a source of honor, fame, or admiration for him?  What are areas that I can focus on and improve?  Thus far, God has revealed three ways:

1.  Through my physical appearance.  As a stay-at-home-mom, this can be a tough one.  To make matters more difficult, my husband now works from home and sees me every day.  He sees the me with no make-up, shabby clothes for housework, and extra pregnancy weight around the middle.  Let's face it... men are visual.  No matter how we may try and argue ourselves out of this truth, it's still a fact.  Yes, there's a time and place for comfort and relaxation through what we wear; but, I confess it has become a lazy habit of mine. 

2.  Through my words.  This means not only using my words to encourage him "to his face,"  but also "behind his back."  To speak kindly of him to others instead of taking the opportunity to vent.  A frustrated "oh my gosh, let me tell you about the mess my husband made in the bathroom the other morning" isn't the way to be his "glory."  It can silently create a rift instead of a bond if it becomes my daily topic of conversation.

3.  Through my mind.  As a wife, I have to BELIEVE that I am the glory of man... specifically, the glory of my husband.  If I can't allow that truth to fully sink in my mind, then my actions, appearance, and words will never match up.

You know, our society doesn't really support the Biblical truth of woman being the glory of man.  It actually teaches quite the opposite.  Father, help us as women to walk in Your ways, and in the roles You've designed for us.  Because at the heart of the matter, all the glory belongs to You, anyway. 

tIme 2 gRow uP

A few weeks ago, my pastor, Josh Howerton, at The Bridge Church, has begun a series of sermons entitled, "Following Jesus in a Jacked Up Church."  Now, the name might seem a little strange, but the message of this series is extremely relevant.  We're following the Apostle Paul through the pages of 1 Corinthians as he deals with a really "jacked up" body of believers. 

Yesterday, while studying together what "spirituality" is and is not, the following verse stood out to me:   

Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ.  I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it.  Indeed, you are still not ready.  1 Corinthians 3:1-2

Even though I've heard this particular verse many times throughout my life, the phrase "infants in Christ" was completely illuminated to me yesterday. 

You know, it's funny how motherhood re-teaches you things you thought you already knew.  I have two small children, a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old.  In my mind, I began flipping through images and memories filed away.  I thought back to how as infants, both of my children relied totally on me to provide them with nourishment.  Had I or another adult not been there for them, they would have failed to thrive or survive.

I then thought to where they are now.  My one-year-old is beginning to feed himself; yet, he still relies on his parents to prepare his food in a way that he can maneuver, chew and digest.  My three-year-old can independently feed herself and is learning somewhat to get what she needs from the pantry or refrigerator.  Yet, left to her own immature decision-making, without guidance from her parents, she wouldn't make good decisions.  There would be popsicles for breakfast and jelly beans for dinner.  Though physically she is maturing, she's just not there mentally.

Then there I am... I'm the caretaker.  I prepare and provide age-appropriate meals for them when they need it, while also providing nourishment for myself.

So, what does any of my rambling have to do with being "infants in Christ?" 

Paul was comparing the body of believers at Corinth to babies... still relying on another leader in the faith to "feed" them spiritually.  They weren't growing up in Christ.

As an incredibly busy mother and wife these days, I feel like Paul is speaking to me.  Even though in the midst of the daily craziness I make a point to feed myself and my children their physical nourishment, my spiritual stomach is left hungry.  I find myself unintentionally waiting for another Sunday or Wednesday to roll around, where I will be "fed" by others.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy"?  While I agree with the gist of the saying, I can't always blame the enemy for the busyness.  I know that as Christians we can get "busy" with some really good, even great, things.  Yet, we get to a place where we're so caught up in everything (as I am now), where we begin to act like spiritual infants in Christ...  Neglecting to feed ourselves through Scripture, prayer, and just being alone to rest in the Lord's presence.  Not only should I be mature enough to feed myself, it's time that I find other "infants" around me to "feed," as I do my own biological children.

I do believe there are times in our walk with the Lord when it's okay to live like infants for short seasons, especially during circumstances of life-altering crises.  But, thankfully, I'm not there.  It's time for me to re-evaluate my schedule and routines so that my spiritual life is thriving, not kicking and screaming like a newborn baby.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.  Ephesians 4:14-16

And the Learning Begins...

Yesterday was our first official day "on the job."  I have to admit that when the week began, we were excited.  The dread that we have always felt on Monday morning was gone.  We woke up in charge and ready to take on our dreams.  Such a different feeling that is already quite addicting!

 

Even though we've been on this journey for only two days, we are learning so much already.  Of course, first and foremost, we're learning to trust Almighty God like never before.  Secondly, as far as our actual business goes, there are several things that have jumped out at me already.  We are finding that the simplest things can really be hard to reign in.  A few of those are:

1. FOCUS-  As we begin our business from the ground up, there are so many "rabbits" to be chased, T's to be crossed, and I's to be dotted.  The ability to discern and prioritize wisely has proven to be quite a challenge. 

2. FINANCES-  We committed to living a debt free lifestyle several years back and have been successful for the most part.  BOY, is it tempting to go back on our commitments now!  So many items, gadgets, supplies, etc. that we "need" rear their ugly heads on a daily basis.  And what makes the situation more complicated is that THIS is our income now.  We're not going to be receiving a paycheck anymore.  So, the pressure to make money quickly sits on our shoulders, as well. 

3. FAMILY-  That's right... if the adjustment of self-employment wasn't mind-consuming enough, there are still two little ones pulling at my legs all day, every day.  Two that are still helpless for the most part, still relying on their Daddy and Mommy for most things. 

The great part about all of this is, even with the challenges, we are exhilarated.  We are getting to express ourselves in our own ways, on our own terms.  Dan Miller writes in his book, No More Mondays,

Fulfilling work, work that integrates our talents and our passions, work done for a worthy purpose, has always been a sign of inner--and outer--maturity and wisdom.

"Fulfilling work."  It only takes a day or two of it, then you're hooked.  There's no going back.