Remember Your Destiny

Well, it's the last few days of January, which means that the majority of New Year's Resolutions that were made for 2013 have probably already been thrown out the window for most. I'm always fascinated to see the surge of do-better chatter that strikes up the first week of each new year. The fact that the same few items top most lists repetitively (ie, lose weight, exercise more, eat healthier, save money) can even be pretty humorous... because, let's face it- these things usually do not change. And I'm not chuckling at everyone else while I'm sitting back proudly admiring my accomplished list of try-agains. Nope. I laugh mostly at myself and the fact that I honestly can't recall a single year that I've actually seen any of my resolutions all the way to completion.

It's because of this repetitive pattern each new year that I've decided to end my perfect "crash and burn" record. I didn't make a list of things I wanted to change, try, lose, or do-over. This time my approach was much different. There were no specific goals set but there was a simple commitment made to three words:

The Klappers Go Camping

Way back at the beginning of January, I made a list of several goals for the year that I wanted to make happen. I'm now glad to say, 7 months later, I finally accomplished one of them: Go on a weekend camping trip as a family. Along with my fabulous in-laws, we headed northeast last weekend to a camping area about two hours from home.  Here are some snapshots from our five-day adventure...

Moms of Boys: I Need Your Help!

Let me begin this post by confessing that I'm about to break a hardcore blogging commandment of mine:  To never use my blog as a sounding board to complain about my children, husband, or family.  But desperate times call for desperate measures, right?  I'm genuinely asking for any and all advice here, because this mama is about to go nuts.  

NUTS,I'm telling ya!

For the past four weeks or so, my almost-two-year-old son has been crying.  Not just fussing... CRYING.  And it seems to never end.  I don't understand at all what's going on with him.  Therefore, I have no clue how to help him.

There's no fever.  There are no symptoms of any illness.  He sleeps a sound twelve hours each night.  He begins the morning happy, which causes me to have false hope, thinking, "Happy, Happy!  Joy, Joy!  Today's the day he's not going to cry!"  Only to have my hopes shattered about an hour or so into the day.

My daughter never went through a stage such as this one.  She did have her own share of strong separation anxiety, but easily transitioned out of it around 19-20 months.  My little sad boy will be two years old in December.

He wants his mama.  He wants his mama to carry him constantly.  If he doesn't get every little thing he wants, he wails.  We've tried ignoring him.  We've tried coddling him.  We've tried a balance of both.  Nothing is bringing this to an end.

Yes, I am a VERY hands-on mother.  I reserve blogging and other personal activities for when the kids are asleep or outside playing with their father.  There's no way my son isn't getting PLENTY of attention from me.  Ironically, the crying honestly makes me NOT want to be around him at times.  Instead of responding tenderly and sensitively, the sound of his crying is becoming as pleasant as fingernails scraping down a chalkboard. 

So, my question to all of you is... What the heck do I do?!  I've read my share of parenting material by Sears, Dobson, etc.  I understand that boys struggle more than females to detach from their mothers.  Could this be an internal struggle that he's going through?  Is he learning so much, so fast, that he can't handle it emotionally?  Arghhhhhh!  This psycho-analytical mother needs answers.  Even incorrect answers would do at this point.  Having the slightest explanation would probably help a tiny bit.  At least I think so... *Sigh*

Did any of you have this experience with a growing toddler boy?  

Losing it slowly-

Not Your Ordinary Tea Party

My little ones decided yesterday afternoon that they would like to take some of their indoor toys outside for a tea party in the warm sunshine.  Because of the gorgeous fall weather, I totally embraced their request and all but shoved them out the door.

Pretty soon I decided to keep them company in a chair situated on the deck close by them.  I was secretly observing their every move, absolutely loving the scene my sweet children were creating.  The pretend tea, cups, and snacks were distributed between the two and their party proceeded without a hitch.

It was comforting to just sit and watch them play together happily.  All the fatigue, stress, and irritation that can come about during motherhood had disappeared for a few moments.  Just as a bit of mommy-pride started creeping in, suggesting that I might possibly be doing things right in rearing them, I look up to watch my three-year-old daughter sip her cup and say, "Mmmmmmmm!  This beer is good!"

*GASP*

Maybe not...

The Golden Hour

“The first hour is the rudder of the day — The Golden Hour”

Henry Ward Beecher 

How do you begin your mornings? 

When I worked full-time as a teacher, my weekday mornings began very early.  Usually around 5:30 am.  I was never one to be able to roll out of bed, jump right into the shower, throw on clothes and make-up, and then head out the door in under 30 minutes.  For me, I've always needed for my mornings to be quiet and slowly paced.

Since having children, I've found myself allowing them to be my alarm clock every day.  Even though there's nothing inherently wrong with that, over the past few weeks I've decided to make an adjustment in my morning routine.  Instead of trying to catch every single minute of sleep that I can before the children wake up, I've discovered that it's much more beneficial for me to have a set time to get up every day.  By getting up intentionally at 6:30 am for the past two weeks, here's what I've realized:

* It allows me to wake up slowly, not abruptly.  Awaking to a child crying or yelling "ma-ma" over the monitor is not very peaceful.  And I have to admit, when I'm very tired, it certainly doesn't put an instant smile on my face.  I currently have a soft, pleasant alarm tone that sounds on my phone.  Yes, I give myself permission to press snooze a few times, too. 

* I get alone time, which may or may not happen later in the day.  If I wait until naps or another opportunity later in the day to have "me" time, more times than not, something else comes up and it doesn't happen.  Getting up before everyone else guarantees time for me to be alone.  Sometimes it does get cut a bit short if one of the children wakes earlier than expected.  But even 15 minutes alone can be golden to a worn out mother like myself.

* That alone time provides me the opportunity to fill my mind with truth.  I believe it's so important to fill our minds with positive things throughout every day.  But especially so in the mornings.  Some things I've chosen to do to clean and re-frame my thinking first thing are: pray, read God's Word, read other encouraging books/blogs, and listen to uplifting music.  I really like how Dan Miller put it in a recent blog post titled, "I've Got a Dirty Mind:"

"I’m very protective of how I start each morning.  I know I’m planting the seeds for what the day will hold..."

Knowing that my entire day is affected by how I began it sure does change my perspective on early mornings.  It has already made a huge difference and I look forward to continuing and protecting this new routine.

"Sleep, It Does a Family Good" by Dr. Archibald D. Hart

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart
when I'm awake, you know?"
— Ernest Hemingway

Like Ernest Hemingway, I love sleep.  I NEED sleep.  Yet, I feel like I've been without sleep for over 3 years now, thanks to my two sweet children.  It really does make it hard to be all that I can/should be each day without adequate rest.  So, when I recently received an invitation to review Dr. Archibald D. Hart's new book, "Sleep, It Does a Family Good," I literally laughed out loud.  If there's anything I need more of these days, it's definitely sleep.  

I'm pretty certain that way too many of you can relate to my sleep deprivation woes.  It is actually a rapidly growing crises in our country.  According to several polls from the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), about 70 million Americans suffer from some sort of sleep disorder.  And even many more suffer from some form of periodic sleep deprivation.  Because of these blaring figures and the toll that sleep deprivation took in his own life, Dr. Archibald D. Hart wrote his newest book, "Sleep, It Does a Family Good."  He sincerely believes that "bad sleeping habits in either children or parents can have a devastating effect on the spiritual, emotional, and physical health of the whole family."  Ohhhh, I'm right there with you, Dr. Hart!

The book is divided into three sections:

1. Part 1: Understanding Your Family's Need for Sleep
2. Part 2: Determining Your Family's Sleep Problems
3. Part 3: Overcoming Your Family's Sleep Deprivation

Within each section, he teaches about the issues of sleep disorders and how to address them.  Also included are various aids, such as a guide for creating a sleep diary and "sleep aid package."  The book is very informational, and yet a bit wordy at times.  But for anyone who is looking to take a true look at sleep and its function, this is a wonderful resource.

So, now I'm off to put to practice what I've learned from "Sleep, It Does a Family Good."  Time to catch some zzzzz's (I hope...)

A copy of this book was provided to me at no cost by Tyndale House Publishers in order to facilitate my review. I was not required to provide a positive review, only an honest one. The viewpoints expressed in this review are my own.

Wife and Mother and Business Partner- OH MY!

Those are the three hats that I wear simultaneously these days.  Wife to an incredible husband, mother to two precious children, and a business partner with my husband for our new home-based business.  Early on, when this scenario began, I could balance these roles pretty easily.  But I'm finding as time goes by, its getting more difficult.

Being a wife is hard.

Being a mother is hard, too.

Being a business partner with your spouse is... well, its extra hard.

Then throwing all three of them together just creates the most irritating problematic interesting mix!

For the time being, my husband and I have decided to temporarily remove my "business partner hat" so that I can refocus my energies on where they'd be better used.  These days with my children wanting nothing more than to spend time in my arms are fleeting.  They will be over much quicker than I want to admit.  

I also have an incredibly high calling of being a wife.  I confess I'm not yet able to instantaneously make the switch from arguing about camera equipment to being a lovey-dovey sweetheart when needed. Not really sure if I'll ever get there.  

So even though I began this blog with the intentions of writing about our small business journey, it's now going to take a small turn.  I'm still going to write about those things from time to time, but the overall focus will change.  More about motherhood, marriage, saving money, and who knows what else!

Hope you'll continue to journey along with me. ; )

Good Thing, Bad Time

Man, I missed something really special today. I intentionally set aside the morning to go out with my little girl so we could spend quality time with each other. She and I haven't been getting along too well lately. Mommy and Daddy have been working really hard, trying to begin a new business from the ground up.  Even though she can't put her feelings into words, we can see her frustration.  The weather has consistently been too cold to burn much energy off outdoors.  The gloom of winter has taken a toll on the four of us, especially on her.  

So, the two of us headed out for breakfast and shopping early this morning.  As we pulled out of our driveway, I did something that has become second nature for me.  I grabbed my BlackBerry and made a call.  Now, that in itself isn't a terrible thing.  But before I realized it, our trip was over and I had missed it.  The two of us were together, yes.  But mentally and emotionally I was completely absent.  

That first call led to another phone call, to reading and returning several emails, to a few more calls, to following friends on Twitter and Facebook, etc.  You get the picture.  A good and useful tool has invaded my life in a negative way....

My mother/daughter date turned out to be a huge wake up call for me.  And I answered.